TV/Disney’s Club Penguin: We Wish You a Merry Walrus/101
Avast! Ho ho! What a merry party that was. I’ve never seen the like. Oh, hello! Captain Rockhopper at your service. What’s that ye say? You were off in the bathroom and you missed the whole hullabaloo? Well, lucky for you I downloaded it off the Internets. (chuckles) I ain’t sayin’ how, but I am a pirate. (laughs) ♪ ♪ We wish you a very merry Walrus ♪ ♪ Penguin hearts are full of cheer ♪ ♪ We wish you a very merry Walrus ♪ ♪ It’s our favorite time of year ♪ (bell chiming) ♪ Waddle up and bring your puffle ♪ ♪ We’ll take the igloos and we’ll shuffle ♪ ♪ Celebrations, all the decorations ♪ ♪ Lining up for the bucket brigade ♪ ♪ We wish you a very merry Walrus ♪ ♪ Gifts and treats will soon appear ♪ ♪ We wish you a very merry Walrus ♪ ♪ It’s our favorite time of year ♪ ♪ We wish you a very merry Walrus ♪ ♪ Shuffle on up and join us… ♪ Even from this undisclosed aquatic location, that noise is intolerable! But soon, Klutzy, I, Herbert P. Bear, will have my peace and quiet, and those penguins will have a Merry Walrus surprise they won’t soon forget! Time to unwrap Operation Silent Night! (laughing maniacally) ♪ (whistling) Ah, that ought to do it. Home sweet home. (wood cracking and creaking) Or not. Hey, new kid, think fast! Aah, aah, ooh, ooh! Aah, aah, ooh! Aah! Wow, where’d you learn to catch? Oh, I’m self-taught. Ha! I like this guy! You won’t make the team, but you will get a nickname. We’re gonna call you… Fumbles! Uh, thanks, but the name’s Roofhowse. Sure thing, Fumbles. I’m Blizzard. Looks like you could use some igloo decoratin’ tips from the masters. Show him what we got, Sydmull. (beep) Whoa. I bet you can see that from space. Well, let’s confirm. Can you see it up there, Sergei? Da, Sydmull. Happy Merry Walrus! Now let’s see what you got. (electrical crackling) (sighs) I got nothin’. Don’t worry, Fumbles, you can stay with us. Yeah, assuming you’re through burning igloos down. I’ll pass, but thanks for the offer, guys. And again, my name’s Roofhowse. Anybody else find that ironic seein’ as he’s got neither a roof nor a house. Blizzard, do you know your lines for the play, and did you sign your actor’s contract? I don’t sign nothin’ without my lawyer present. I give my client permission to sign. (groans) Done! If anyone else fit in the Merry Walrus costume, I’d fire you. (gasps) Hello! Roofhowse, right? Yeah. How’d you know? I’m Jangrah, president of the Igloo Owners Association. Here’s your fruit basket and— (gasps) Oh, my gosh, your igloo! What, you don’t like the open floor plan? (laughs) Enough banter. Now, then, not to toot my own horn, but I’m directing the Merry Walrus play, and we could really use your help. Just, you know, maybe not with anything electrical. Thank you, but I don’t know how long I’ll be staying. Ooh, a drifter. Always chasing the next ice floe. Maybe on the run from the law? I get it! But it must be tough to make friends. Not at Club Penguin it’s not. We’re all friends here, and nothing is more important than taking the time to… (beeping) Oops! Got to run. It’s showtime! Lorna, costumes! Sydmull, special effects! Blizzard, Walrus up! Roofhowse, hope to see you there. Just so you know, there’s an ancient Club Penguin prophecy that a mysterious stranger would one day save Merry Walrus from complete annihilation. Really? And not to be overly dramatic… I also had a dream about waffles! Wow, this place is crazy. Well, nothing keeping me here now except my fruit basket. Eh, of course. Shh! Behind the protection of the Crystal Curtain, the Merry Walrus lives in a palace constructed of snow, ice, and quality plumbing materials. (all) Ooh! Once a year, the Merry Walrus climbs aboard his sleigh to deliver gifts to all the good penguins and bad penguins too. He doesn’t judge. (laughter) This magical sleigh is pulled by his six blue crystal puffles. (clears throat) I said, by his six blue crystal puffles. Sydmull! That’s your cue! Sorry. I was distracted making this scale model of a digestive tract. (flatulence) (audience laughs) Parting the veil of the Crystal Curtain, the blue crystal puffles lead the way to Club Penguin, where the Merry Walrus himself kicks off the party as we dance the Puffle Shuffle! Oh! Uh, uh… Line? Merry Walrus! (audience laughs) Oh, uh… Merry Walrus! Which is both my name and my catchphrase! Line? (audience laughing) Don’t worry, nobody cares about acting. It’s all about the special effects! Tallyho, my blue crystal puffles! Whoa! Motion sickness. (gasps) Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh! They like it. Quick, ask for donations! Go! Go! Go! Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. (waves crashing) Well, Roofhowse, you tried the igloo life, but it wasn’t for you. (sighs) Should have said good-bye, though. Huh? Aah! (laughing) Uh, what? Huh? (gibberish) Huh? Wait, wait. A blue crystal puff– Whoaaa! (all) Ooh! They love me! Now for my big finish! Yay! Whoo! (applause) Now, that’s what I’m talkin’ about! A giant snowball was a surprisingly effective finale. This is not what we rehearsed. But listen to that applause. Fumbles! Why am I not surprised? Guys, you are not gonna believe this! (gasps) A blue crystal puffle! Whoa, whoa. Hey, whoa. What’s wrong? (gibberish) I think he’s trying to tell us something. I think he’s saying… (gasps) …the Merry Walrus needs our help! (gibberish) Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! (Roofhowse) He’s heading for the shore! Everyone, follow that puffle! How are we supposed to follow him now? Oh! I know. What are you doing? This is my boat, guys. I got this. Sailing is the one thing I’m good at. (Blizzard) What do you know? He is good at something. Yeah, good at leaving us behind. We could follow him if we only had a ship! (Rockhopper) Avast! Did someone say “ship”? No, really, did someone say “ship”? Sometimes me hearing ain’t so good. (chuckles) I’m comin’, pal. I just need a little more sail. Hey, Fumbles, need a lift? Ooh-hoo-hoo! Burn! Ahoy! Any lad crazy enough to sail in a peanut shell is welcome aboard the “Migrator!” Are you saying my boat is small? Yes, I am! Now bring it aboard. We’ll stow it in me glove compartment. (laughs) Now let’s get down to business. You can’t be hirin’ a pirate ship without booty. By that I mean cash. All we have is this bucket of donations we worked really hard to— Deal! (laughs) (cash register dings) Now, then, if we be followin’ a blue crystal puffle, that can mean only one thing. We be headin’ to Merry Walrus Island. (thunder) Arrr! (gasping and screaming) This trip may be filled with hardship, deprivation, and unspeakable dangers! But on the plus side… we got fun hats! Ooh, pirate couture! (gibberish) (Rockhopper) Put on your hats because you can’t be having a real pirate adventure without singing a real pirate shanty! ♪ ♪ Ohh… ♪ Look! Crystal Curtain dead ahead! Oh, that was quick. Arrr! Brace for impact! (all screaming) I can’t stop her in time! (gibberish) The “Migrator” won’t fit! (screeching) (Rockhopper laughing) Like I said, she fit like a glove! Good job, lad. Impressive! Well done! Roofhowse, my boy, I see in ye a younger version of meself. Ye’ve earned your honorary parrot! The elephant says… (elephant trumpeting) I got it on discount. (Jangrah) Wow! This looks just like the set from my play! Yeah, except good. (Lorna) It’s the Merry Walrus! What’s wrong? The holidays are full of surprises! (gasping) Why, it be Herbert P. Bear! (screaming) (laughing maniacally) Finally, I have a captive audience to present my ingeniously elaborate plan to. Poor Klutzy has seen it 20 times, haven’t you, Klutzy? (woman) Thank you for your interest in Herbert P. Bear Enterprises… How do you skip the intro? I can help you with that. Our regular office hours are– (beep) Uh, thank you. Now, then… phase one, capture the blue crystal puffles! Phase two, use the blue crystal puffles to breach the Crystal Curtain force field! Phase three, storm the Ice Palace and take the Merry Walrus as my prisoner! Phase four… Four! Impersonate the Merry Walrus and fly over Club Penguin to drop my presents, each of which is part of a larger mechanism that will create a huge dome of ice over the crowd, trapping them all in a soundproof chamber which I call The Snow Globe of Silence! With those partying penguins permanently imprisoned, I will finally have my long-awaited peace and quiet! So, what do you think about that? (laughing, video game beeping) Just a sec. My buddy’s about to level up. Avast! Get the banana! The banana! Nice! Oh, why do I bother? Let’s “wrap” this party up! (mechanical whirring) (toot) (pop, ding) (beeping) (gasping) Hey, watch it! (gasps) (groans) This is clearly a safety violation! (gasps) (bell dings, muffled shouting) (gasps) How decoratively diabolical! (laughing maniacally) And now to make my metamorphosis complete! (laughing maniacally) Ohh! Aah! Brain freeze. My presence here is no longer required. Get it? “Presence“? (laughing) Happy Merry Walrus! (laughing maniacally) Hands off! While completely terrifying, I can’t help but be impressed by– (bell dings, muffled speech) Ooh! Aah! Aah, aah, ooh! Arr! They’ll not be puttin’ me in ribbons and bows! We must be untyin’ these knots. Let’s start with this double anchor shank. Double anchor shank? That be a longshoreman’s loop! No way! A longshoreman’s loop has a half-twist! Yeah, when your mother tied ’em! Would you leave my mother out of this?! (Rockhopper muttering) Thank you for purchasing the Malfunction Notification System 1000. This machine will now go completely crazy. (whistle blowing) (alarm blaring) (gasps) Aah! Aah! (gasps) (screaming) (screaming) (screaming) Now, that be how ye undoes a longshoreman’s loop! Yarr! (muffled whimpering) This is not the paper I would have chosen. Mine’s cool. Mine too. (muffled shouting) Who’s that? (gasps) Merry Walrus! (chuckles) It’s my name and my catchphrase! (gibberish) Enrique! ¿Cómo estás? Oh, great and wondrous Merry Walrus, we must stop Herbert! He has a dastardly plan to– No need to recap. I was here the whole time. Quick! Everyone to The “Migrator!” Arrr, me ship is fast, but it’s no fancy flying machine. Not to be defeatist, but all hope is lost! If only we had another sleigh. This calls for a Merry Walrus miracle! A two-sleigh garage! (applause) Yay! Merry Walrus away! (Rockhopper) Aye! And Rockhopper away too! Only much, much slower. (sighs) Come on! ♪ Hey, party penguins, who’s ready for the Merry Walrus? ♪ Oh, oh, oh-oh, oh, oh ♪ ♪ Oh, oh… ♪ (gasps) And here he comes now! Ooh! Ooh! Klutzy, take the reins. (laughing maniacally) Geronimo! Heads up, penguins! (squeaks) Ho ho ho! I spent two weeks making the Merry Walrus this beautiful eight-layer cake. That’s four layers a week! Awesome! Bull’s-eye! Time to close the circle with the final present and give everyone a Happy Merry Walrus! (laughing maniacally) What?! Those blasted penguins escaped, but they’re too late. (laughing maniacally) Oh, no! Herbert dropped the last present! Take her down, Merry Walrus! Righty-o! Uh, guys, you do realize our catcher is Fumbles, right? No, I got this. I mean, I’m relatively sure I’ve got this. Ooh! Got it! Roofhowse! He’s too heavy! Aah! Aah! Ohh! Whoa! (grunts) (whimpering) Impossible! Huh? I’ve got to get that present! (grunts) It’s Herbert! Everybody, clear the dance floor! (all shouting) Not so fast, penguins! (grunts) Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa! Whoa. Whoa! No one’s going to stand in the way of my Merry Walrus! Oh, yeah? Oh, Merry Walrus. Hello. Herbert, you’ve been a very bad bear, but despite that, I’ll still give you a present. Now get off my sleigh! (screaming) I got it! I got it! I don’t got it. Yep, saw that comin’. (screaming) (groaning) I’m okay! Ow! (groans) Klutzy! Ow! (whimpering) Oh, dear. (Blizzard) Fumbles! Hoo-hoo-hoo! You did it! You saved Merry Walrus! Just like the prophecy foretold! Except without the waffles. No, we all did it. Yeah! We did! Save some warm fuzzies for the rest of the island. We have cheer to spread. (laughs) Everybody do the Puffle Shuffle! ♪ Oh, oh, oh-oh, oh, oh ♪ At least in here I finally get some peace and quiet. ♪ This is how we do it this time of year… ♪ Noooo…! (grunting) (gasps) (music mutes) (contented sigh) ♪ Shuffle ♪ ♪ Keep your eyes to the sky… ♪ (sighs) (gibberish) Thanks for everything, uh, Enrique. Here, I’ve got something for ya… matey. Avast! Here be me donation to Coins for Change. Ye didn’t think I’d keep it, did ya? Oh, thanks, Rockhopper. Besides, me accountant says I’d have to pay taxes on it. (laughs) Fine job today, matey! How about joinin’ me as a pirate for your next great adventure? You know something? I think my next great adventure might be right here at Club Penguin. That’d be good ’cause I sold your boat for scrap. You what?! Ah, that’s okay. Hey, guys, wait for me! Fumbles is one of us now! Whoo-hoo! You bet! I always liked this kid. ♪ Hey, now, do the big dance ♪ ♪ Dance the Puffle Shuffle ♪ ♪ Get your way now to the big dance ♪ ♪ Dance the Puffle Shuffle ♪ ♪ Oh, oh, oh-oh, oh, oh ♪ ♪ Dance the Puffle Shuffle ♪ Arr, I’ll say it again, that was some party! There’s a lesson to be learned there, but lessons are for scurvy dogs! In the meantime, it’s good to be a pirate, eh, mateys? (cheering) Merry Walrus to all and to all a good flight! I see what you did there! Rockhopper away! (laughter)